I can’t dance. Never could. But how hard is dancing? Is it really that i can’t dance, or that I’m so self conscious and therefore so tight that I won’t dance? I know…dance like nobody’s watching. I can’t. Yet. Fortunately for me, my wife can dance, and she doesn’t really care who it’s with anymore. She knows I don’t like to, because I can’t. So at a wedding, when that dreaded moment comes, and inevitably it does, she lets me off the hook. I’m thankful for that, and so is everyone else on the dance floor. But I still aspire to be that guy who can’t dance but doesn’t care. Someday. The same holds true for golf, and the relevance has become too clear of late. I’ve found that I enjoy playing golf alone and, that when I do, I play a lot better. And it’s not because no one’s watching and I can write down whatever number I want. It is, however, because no one’s watching. No one’s watching my swing or my putt. No one’s judging me. I’m not even sure they ever were, but I’ve come to realize that I assumed they were, and as a result I’m pretty certain that my swing is tighter – more mechanical. Worse. Well how about “swing like nobody’s watching”? My son told me after our last round of golf that I’m too stiff…just swing away and quit thinking about all your mechanics and you’ll crush it. The next day my wife, who’s never even seen my golf swing, decides to give me some swing tips: “You just need to commit”. She diagnosed my golf swing by evaluating my non-committal life style – could be rooted in that surfing thing, but in this case I suspect the root cause is the same thing that prevents me from dancing – I’m too self conscious about how I look and how it feels, and as a result, I don’t pull the trigger. The result? An ugly dancer and a stiff, tight golf swing. This is pretty deep stuff, so I’m not sure it’s something I’ll fix at one wedding or one round of golf. But being aware of it and taking steps in the right direction is forward progress that I’m committed to. By the way, I can’t sing either. Actually, for all the same reasons, I’m not sure whether I can’t sing because I can’t sing, or because I’m afraid to if anyone’s listening, and as a result what comes out isn’t too pretty. I know I sound a lot better when no one’s listening. Gotta figure this one out too. As a guitar player who is too self conscious to sing, I’ve been taking steps in the right direction to rectify this. Because the truth is, a guitar player who can’t sing but is willing to is more fun for everyone than a guitar player who won’t sing. Not so long ago, I jumped off the cliff. At a birthday celebration in my backyard with a lot of people that I love, and who seem to love me, I spontaneously grabbed my guitar, joined the band, and started singing. It was a now and never moment for me, and it needed to happen. I did it. No regrets – not for me, anyway. Not sure my friends in family share that sentiment. But it doesn’t matter. I did it – and it was fun! Going to keep learning to get out of my own head and out of my own way. I may not win a golf tournament, or a dance contest, or a grammy, but it sure sounds more enjoyable than being too self conscious and tight to even try!