I tend to grip things too tightly. That includes my golf club. And a lot of other things, apparently. To varying degrees, we all have a tendency to hold on too tightly to things – to try and control them. It’s not necessarily a successful formula, but it seems to be a human tendency. When it comes to golf, I tend to grab a hold of the club and choke the life out of it. After suffering long enough watching the ill effects of my death grip, my son not-so gingerly suggested I try otherwise, so I experimented with lightening my grip today on the course. What a difference. Everything felt smoother, easier, more relaxed and fluid. And it showed in the results. The ball went farther, and straighter. It was hard to let go and relax, especially with my mind so well conditioned to grind through a dozen swing thoughts mid-swing and make sure that every ounce of tension I was generating found it’s way to my hands of stone. But it worked, and it’s my latest focus. I’ve stuffed more mechanical thoughts into my pea brain than there’s room for, and trying to manage them all while hitting the golf ball isn’t a pretty sight. Or a relaxed one. And although I know now the horrors of the death grip, it’s a deeply engrained behavior, and an unconscious one. Fortunately, I have my son to remind me of this small but significant adjustment, and he’s done so only about 50 times so far. For whatever reason, it’s been really hard for me to do. But I’m getting there. Thank you Taylor.
Tried it in life today too. Like my golf swing, I can have an unconscious tendency to grab ahold of things pretty tightly and hack away. But of late, rather than dive head long into something at work and drag it where I want it to go with my heavy hands, I softened my approach. I took a step back toward the shadows. I relaxed and let go, and let things play themselves out. What a difference. Everything seemed smoother, easier, more relaxed and fluid. And it showed in the results. The decisions were crisper, and smarter. It was hard to let go and relax, especially with all my experience and intuition habitually driving me down the path well traveled. But I did it, and it worked. Thank you Taylor.
With this swing thought on my mind, I saw two very contrasting “swings” – a very loose grip, and a very tight one – while watching the 2015 Grammy’s. There was Paul McCartney, comfortable in his own skin, simply playing guitar and taking a humble position in the background in support of Rihanna and Kanye West singing “FourFive Seconds”. He looked relaxed and not at all trying to control or dominate the stage or anyone’s impression of him. And then there was Madonna in what appeared to be a very tightly controlled effort that felt very forced. Contrived. The mechanics were all in order, but it was the furthest thing from natural or effective. We all want to be relevant. Significant. But forcing ourselves unnaturally on to center stage is uncomfortable for everybody, and clinging to the spotlight isn’t necessarily a pretty sight either. We’d all be better served relaxing and learning to loosen our grip, playing to our strengths and aware of our current capabilities and limitations. We’d hit the ball further and have more fun too. And, like Sir Paul, it’s ok to know our station in life and realize that we don’t always need to be in the spotlight.
As for my son, I want to be like him when I grow up. Not sure how he’s managed to figure out the tricky parts of life way out in front of me, especially since I had a 30 year head start on him. But when he gives my his two cents, whether it’s about life or my golf swing, I’m listening. Thank you Taylor.